EMIYA
by Mereo Flere
Summary: The wrong servant is summoned.  Plans go awry.  Nothing turns out like anybody expected.  There is only one thing they can be sure of:  The Holy Grail has a horrible sense of humor.
1. One Shirou

"EMIYA" by Mereo Flere.

Disclaimer: I don't own Fate/Stay Night.

---

Emiya Shirou, without a doubt, was having one of the weirdest nights of his life. First, he had somehow fallen into an unfamiliar living room. the the school idol - Tohsaka Rin - appeared, and started to tell him all sorts of strange things. Some of it he had heard before - such as magi and magic - but there were just some things he couldn't accept.

However, he tried his best to understand the situation anyway.

"So let me get this straight. You're telling me that a 'Holy Grail War' is going on."

"That's correct - though technically it hasn't begun yet."

"And that in that war there are seven masters."

"Yes, that's right."

"Those masters each summon a servant - a hero from across the ages - to fight each other to the death, to have their wish granted by the Holy Grail."

"Mm-hmm."

"You're one of those masters."

"Right."

"And I'm the servant you summoned."

"Uh-huh."

Yet, even though he could comprehend everything she had told him, he could only come to one conclusion.

"You're crazy, Rin."

It was a little rude...but, then again, etiquette wasn't his current concern anyway.

Of course, even if he simply dismissed everything she said, that still didn't explain certain things. How had he gotten here in the first place? Why was Rin acting so weird? And, most of all, when in the world did he change clothes?

He thought back for a moment, ignoring Rin's yelling in the background. It was then he remembered that, before all this had happened, he had gone to bed with an upset stomach. Without a doubt, this was probably the result of Taiga's attempts at cooking.

"I know, this is a dream, isn't it?"

One quick pounding later, courtesy of one Tohsaka Rin, he decided that that wasn't the case.

"Listen to me, damn it. This isn't a dream, it's all real! I summoned you, and that makes you my servant."

Shirou rubbed the sour spot on his head, still looking at Rin skeptically. "Let's say I believe you. Let's say that there really is a war going on, with masters and servants and all that. The fact is, no matter how you look at it, I'm just not one of those Epic Spirits you described.

"I'm just an ordinary High School student."

That was, of course, a lie. The truth was, he was a magi; but that was neither relevant nor something she needed to know.

Rin had the decency to blush. "I'll admit that I'm not sure what's going on myself, but..."

She paused, unsure how to continue. Finally, she raised her hand and, with a quick tug, she pulled down her sleeve, revealing...

"A tattoo?"

"No! It's a command sign, the proof of our contract to each other. Like it or not, we're bound to each other now."

Shirou stared at Rin, seeing no signs of her lying. Finally, after nearly a minute of silence, he hung his head and sighed.

"You're not joking, are you?"

"No, I'm not."

And that was the beginning of their Holy Grail War.

Of course, he still didn't believe her.

"You're crazy, Rin. You really are."

"Don't start on that again!"

---

The next morning came by quickly; that is, if your name wasn't Emiya Shirou.

It seemed that Rin had taken the term "Servant" a little too literally. Within moments after the end of their discussion, she had set him to work, forcing him to clean up the mess that -he- apparently created.

Pointing out that, according to her, she was the one who had used the summoning spell in the first place didn't help either. Instead, she only piled more chores for him to do, before slamming the door of what he assumed to be her bedroom.

Now, most might question why Shirou didn't just leave then; even with her crazy story he didn't feel any obligation to her. The fact of the matter was, though, he enjoyed helping people out.

Even if they were a bit crazy.

A little housework meant nothing to him anyway; one might go so far as to say it was his hobby.

Still...to think that the school idol would be such a person..it was a little disheartening. Though he wouldn't admit it, he had actually held a crush on her.

He probably still did.

There must be something he could do for her. Anything at all to get her sanity back.

"Don't worry, Rin! I'll help you through this, no matter what it takes!"

That was who Emiya Shirou was, after all. Always helpful, always caring, and, most of all, always a little bit of an idiot.

---

Tohsaka Rin was, of course, a different sort of person. Some would even call her a genius - and they would be right in doing so. Good at sports, good at studying, she seemed to have a natural talent for many things that other people simply didn't have. But what most people didn't know was that what she truly excelled at was magic.

However...

Genius or not, she still made mistakes. And, without a doubt, she had made one of the biggest mistakes of them all. She knew where, or rather when, she went wrong; she had cast the spell just an hour too early, but that in no way should have led to this fiasco.

For one thing, it should have been impossible. She had never heard of a present day person ever being summoned - and certainly not in the history of the Holy Grail War. To her knowledge, the source of the souls contracted had always been from one place - the Throne of Heroes.

Yet, here she was, with one of her fellow students as her servant. And not just any student either.

"Don't worry, Rin! I'll help you through this, no matter what it takes!"

"Well, at least he's enthusiastic," she said, smiling to herself. "Maybe we might even get through this in one piece."

And maybe, just maybe, she -was- a little crazy after all.

Crazy or not, though, few things could stop Rin once she got an idea in her head. One might say she was almost more stubborn than Shirou himself.

Almost.

Between the two of them, though, Rin would invariably hold the advantage over Shirou in an argument. It was the undeniable, if unspoken, power that most women held over men.

"What do you mean we're going out?!"

"When you say it like that, you make it sound like we're going on a date."

"That's the the problem here. I can't go out dressed like this!"

Shirou held his arms apart and did a half-turn, displaying the outfit he had appeared in hours before. It wasn't a horrible costume by any measure; the red coat and the black body armor went very well together. However, the fact that it looked like a costume in the first place - one that a person might where to a party or a convention - was the issue.

"I don't see what the problem is," Rin said, eyeing Shirou out of the corner of her eye. "I think it looks very good on you."

Shirou sighed, letting his shoulders sag just a little bit. "I'd have to question your taste then, if you really believe this is something people would wear normally."

Rin blushed, looking away. "Look, if you're really bothered by it we can go shopping for some new clothes too."

"Now who's the one making it sound like a date?"

"Do you think I'm doing this because I want to?"

Shirou wisely chose not to answer that with the truth.

---

To be clear, they were out on patrol, not on a date - according to Rin anyway.

It didn't matter that Shirou had no idea what they were patrolling -for- in the first place. Nor did it matter that all they had done so far was go shopping, watch a movie, and eat lunch together. Rin was determined to call this a patrol.

Up until now, Shirou had not said anything. But, even he had his limits. It just so happened that these limits included a chocolate covered sundae with a cherry on top, two spoons, and one very close (almost too close) school girl.

"Umm...Rin? What are we doing?"

"Well, since you don't have your wallet on you, I thought we could save money by splitting a dessert."

"No, I mean, what are we doing here, eating ice cream? I thought you said we would be patrolling the city - not whatever this is."

"Oh. That."

Rin coughed and Shirou knew that she had switched back to her serious mode.

"Emiya-kun, the enemy can be anywhere and anyone. Servants are not monsters, and neither are us Magi. They can look like any normal person - and often do.

"However, even as we search for any suspicious behavior, we must keep ourselves from being discovered as well. Since we're both students, the natural reason for two of us to be together on a weekend would be to go on a date."

"But you said we weren't on a date."

"We're not - but it just has to look like we are."

"I...see."

Shirou didn't buy it.

Neither did Rin.

However, there was one person who did, and that person was completely scaring the shit out of Matou Shinji.

Across of the street of the café where Shirou and Rin were currently enjoying their meal, hidden behind the bushes were the two Matou siblings. The older, Shinji, was shivering fear as the dark aura emanating from his younger sister grew larger and larger with each passing moment. Soon enough, it would threaten to envelop him as well.

"Did you hear that?!" Sakura practically shrieked, causing Shinji to wince.

"Hear what, dear sister?" he asked quietly, not wanting to incur her wrath.

"That -bitch- is using Senpai for her sick and twisted desires!"

"Oh, that? Yes, I heard that." He hadn't, of course. He was just a normal human being after all.

Though, he had to admit, if he was in Shirou's shoes, he probably wouldn't mind being subjected to Rin's "sick and twisted desires" at all. He also had to admit that if Sakura ever knew that, she would squash him like a bug - or a worm.

"But, it's not like we can do anything, right?"

When Sakura didn't answer immediately Shinji thought he was safe. He didn't care about the Holy Grail War anymore, he just wanted to get away from her as soon as possible.

However, that was simply not meant to be.

"We will DESTROY her!"

Shinji cried. Whatever happened to his pure, sweet, abuse-able little sister?

---

"Did you hear something?"

"Don't try to change the subject!"

---

Sakura and Shinji weren't the only ones preparing for battle. At the same time, on the other side of the city, a man and woman of Irish descent were conversing with the local priest, discussing the combat strategies they would use for the war. Though it would be a strange sight for most, that priest had been a competitor of the previous war as well as the assigned mediator for the current one; the battles that would take place were no stranger to this man.

Some would question the ethics of the judge showing favoritism for the two participants, but at least he hadn't done something crazy - such as chop off the woman's arm to steal her servant and take her place in the war himself.

At least, not in this universe.

"Of the previous wars, three families have always participated: The Tohsaka, the Einzbern, and the Makiri, the latter currently known as the Matou. This is because it was these three families that initiated the Heaven's Feel. Thus, each have had a seat reserved in every war, including this one."

The first man yawned, running a hand through his blue hair. "Who cares about the reason? All we need to know is that they are our enemy, right?"

"Don't be so hasty, Lancer," the woman said, annoyed at her explanation getting cut short. "They won't be our only enemies. There will be three other masters out there, and we cannot be exactly sure who they are. We will have to be careful, and scout the area for them.

"However, it is more than likely that the son of one of the previous war's combatants, a man known as Kiritsugu, will take part in this war, just as his father did. If that's the case, then we must move as carefully as possible around him."

Lancer raised his brow. "And why is that?"

"That is because," the priest answered as he turned his back to them, hiding the nostalgic grin on his face. "Kiritsugu was a truly ruthless man. He would resort to any measure to kill his target. Kidnapping, bombs, threats; it is said that he would use whatever weakness he could find to eliminate the enemy. Having faced him myself, I have to say that he is indeed as dangerous a man as they come.

"No doubt his son will be of a similar breed."

---

For Emiya Shirou, the day ended remarkably normal. There were no masters, no servants, no battles or magic at all (excluding, of course, whatver Rin did to summon him, all those hours ago). It was only a regular date between a boy and a girl.

Then again, that was the problem exactly.

"Don't look at me like that! You can't expect them to just reveal themselves on the first day - we'll just have to search harder next time, that's all!"

"Right," Shirou said, not really in the mood to argue with her. "Anyway, it's getting late, and I really should be - "

"You're not planning on leaving, are you?"

Shirou blinked. She couldn't possibly be asking him to stay, was she?

She was.

"Wait, Rin! That's not right, what would people say about us sleeping under the same roof?"

"They don't have to know," Rin said, biting her lip. "Besides, I need you here. To protect me."

She couldn't believe what she was saying; asking someone, anyone to protect her just wasn't her style. But, at the same time, she knew she didn't want him to go. Shirou was her servant, her partner, and...

"I understand." At least, he thought he did. "You're a young girl, living alone in a big house. It's dangerous, especially with all of the weird stuff happening lately; it's only natural to be afraid."

For some reason, Tohsaka felt pissed off by what he said. To her merit, she managed to hide her anger beneath a practiced smile. "That's...that's right, Emiya-kun. That's exactly why you need to stay here tonight."

"I guess it would be okay then," Shirou said, with a grin. "Just for tonight, though."

Rin sighed. It had worked out, somehow.

"You must be tired, right? Let's go recharge your prana."

"Sure." Shirou wasn't sure what she meant by that, but it sounded innocent enough, after all. He could play around with her just a little bit longer.

Wait, why was she locking the door?


	2. Two Shirou

"EMIYA" by Mereo Flere

Disclaimer: I don't own Fate/Stay Night.

It was a morning that was neither too quiet nor too loud. The sun had risen, as it usually did, with only a few small clouds as its company in the sky. Already, man and beast alike had begun to stir. All in all, it was a pretty normal day.

Somehow, though, that didn't seem right.

Shirou yawned, thinking back to his sleepless night. Without a doubt, something had changed in the relationship between himself and Rin.

She had shown him things, taught him things that he had never heard of, and not even for a second did she let him rest from their exercise.

He would remember those last hours until the day he died.

Soft pink flesh.

Deceivingly gentle words, whispered and then screamed.

An inner-world, forbidden to all entry but his.

Even if he tried, he could never forget the time they had spent together. However, what he remembered most was...

"Those damn fish - what were they, piranha?! I don't care what she said, those things were out to eat me!"

Shirou shook his fist at the imaginary Rin in his head, but then lowered his hand. Taking a deep breath, he calmed himself, trying to look on the bright side.

"Well, at least it wasn't a dragon."

...that was a horrible bright side.

Needless to say, he'd be having nightmares for a while - that is, if Rin ever allowed him to sleep in the first place.

Still...

It was strange. Even after all he had done, he didn't feel tired at all. Actually, after giving it some thought, he realized he felt better than he ever had before.

His body seemed lighter. Stronger too. Both likely side effects of whatever Rin did.

Maybe he should ask her about it.

"Shirou, where are you?"

...and maybe he should get out of here, before she decided to "recharge his prana" again.

---

Tohsaka Rin had never been a morning person. Even as a child, back when her father had kept her on a strict schedule of training, training and more training, she would always need a little help getting out of bed.

Today, though, was different. If not physically, then spiritually.

To deepen the bond between herself and Shirou, she had let him into her very being. No longer were they simply Master and Servant.

Now, they were that and more.

At first, she had told herself that it was necessary. That because of the botched summoning, she might not have been supplying the optimal amount of prana to him after all.

It would be a disadvantage in battle, and with Shirou already just an ordinary person to begin with they couldn't afford to take on any more.

But, as valid a reason as that was, it wasn't -her- reason.

"Shirou..."

In their time together, she had been forced to face the truth.

What she was afraid of was not losing the battle, but losing Shirou himself. Now that he was within her grasp, she couldn't afford to let him slip through her fingers.

No other person, man or woman, could be allowed to have a tighter hold on Emiya Shirou than herself. Last night had been the but the first step in ensuring that that was how things would be.

A part of her was with him now - a portion of her mage seals. It was a representation of her devotion, a willingness to place her relationship with Shirou on a higher priority than her magic.

And today, she would take yet another step, and truly become one with Shirou.

For that reason, she was already awake. There was no time to waste, she just couldn't wait.

There was only one problem.

"Shirou, where are you?"

It seemed her partner had gotten away.

"Oh well - it's not like I can't find him."

To other people, this might have seemed like a setback. To Rin, Shirou's futile attempts at running away was just the challenge she needed to get even more excited.

"Shirou," she said, licking her lips. "Today, you'll be mine!"

---

Suddenly, for some reason, Shirou regretted running away.

---

Sakura was also planning on going Shirou hunting today, much to the dismay of her brother. All night long, she had kept herself locked in her room to devise a way to split apart her beloved Shirou and her sister.

So far, though, she had yet to make much progress. In fact, if one were to take a look at the notes she had made, all he or she would find were the words "that bitch" written over and over.

While the sheer amount of repetition was amazing, when one looked at it for what it was supposed to be (an evil plan) it was rather...disappointing.

Still, she wouldn't give up. Not on her plan, nor on Shirou. So great was her focus on her task that she didn't seem to notice anything else at all.

Rider knew this was becoming a problem. If her master remained in such a deranged state, then their chances of winning the war would be slim.

There had to be some way she could help her.

"Master."

"..."

"Master."

"..."

"Master!"

"Huh? Oh, Rider, it's you. Can't you see I'm busy?"

Rider sighed. "I do, master. Which is why I would like to make a suggestion."

"And what would that be?"

"Well," Rider said, shifting her wait uneasily. "That is...why don't you just kill 'that bitch,' Master? If you did that, your precious 'Shirou' would be free, would he not?"

Once again, Sakura paused dramatically. For a moment, Rider thought she had overstepped her bounds.

Then...

"THAT'S BRILLIANT! Why didn't I think of that?"

Answer: She was crazy.

It probably ran in the family.

---

Shinji didn't inherit the same insanity as his sister did. then again, they weren't blood siblings in the first place, and that fact had never been more clear to him than it was now.

As Sakura's laughter literally shook the household, he couldn't help but wonder what exactly his grandfather was doing. Since the war's approach, and the appearance of Sakura's new "personality," he had not seen the Matou patriarch at all.

"Don't tell me...he ran away!" Shinji exclaimed, finally coming to a revelation. "That bastard, how could he just leave me behind with her?!"

If Shinji survived this that old man would pay.

Of course, he had to figure out a way -to- survive in the first place. For now, he would just have to do whatever his sister asked of him. Getting on her bad side would quickly lead to his death; if nothing else, that he was sure of.

Suddenly, Sakura's laughter stopped, replaced with a gasp. As her door burst open, he instinctively ducked for cover, afraid that she had finally lost whatever sanity she had left.

"Shinji! We leave immediately! My plans will have to wait for now."

"Has something come up, Sister?" Shinji asked, not daring to rise from behind the sofa yet.

"Yes. My Shirou Senses are tingling - something must be happening at the school!"

Had Shinji been able to see Rider, he would have looked to her for an explanation. It didn't matter though; she wouldn't have been able to give him an answer anyway.

It was doubtful that anybody could.

The only thing they could tell Shinji was that his sister was becoming a monster - and that he already knew too well.

---

For Mitsuzuri Ayako, being one of the first people at school was a normal thing. She was, after all, the Captain of the Archery club. To have anybody show up before her would be a disgrace - a disgrace that she simply couldn't allow.

Yet, it seemed that that was exactly what had happened today. Not only had someone arrived before her, but that someone wasn't even part of the club.

At least, not anymore.

It wasn't like she was mad at him, though. The truth was, she liked seeing Shirou. However, for that boy to be at a place like this, at a time like this, something had to be wrong.

And, as the captain, it was her duty to figure out what had happened.

"Shirou? May I ask what you're doing, hiding in the clubroom?"

"There are..various reasons."

"Mind telling me what those reasons are?"

The boy thought about his answer carefully, even as he withered under the gaze of his friend.

"I'm coming back to the club?"

"I don't buy it."

"I'm helping Shinji out?"

"Not his turn to set things up today."

"I came to see you?"

"Nice try."

"No, really, I love you!"

Ayako blinked, startled by his sudden proclamation. Then, she crossed her arms, looking away for a moment, trying - and failing - to hide her blush.

Not that she needed to. Shirou was the kind of person who didn't notice those things anyway.

"You can stop now. You know you can't lie to me."

Shirou sighed. She was right and he knew it.

"Well, you see...the truth is that I'm hiding from somebody."

Ayako raised a brow, genuinely surprised by this. Shirou wasn't the type to get in trouble with the wrong crowd, after all.

Then again, maybe it had to do something with -that- person.

"I see...would that somebody happen to be Tohsaka Rin by any chance?"

"Why would you ask that?"

"Because, she's standing right behind you."

Shirou almost began to cry. Before he had turned around he already knew Ayako was right; the dark aura that he finally noticed was enough to tell him that.

It was too late now to escape. Even though he wanted to, his body just wouldn't respond. The sheer pressure of her presence prevented him from moving.

Without a doubt, he was screwed. In more ways than one.

"Fufufu...I've got you now, Shirou."

"What are you doing here?" Shirou asked, beginning to panic. "What do you mean you've got me now? How in the world did you get behind me?! "

Rin smirked, and Shirou gulped as she cracked the whip that he swore hadn't been there a moment ago. "Don't ask unnecessary questions."

---

For Tohsaka Rin, it would have been easy to simply check the flow of prana from herself to Shirou. Too easy, in fact. She wanted a challenge, and she was confident in her ability to track him down even without such a tool at her disposal.

Naturally, the first place he would go to was home; he hadn't been there since before he was summoned, after all. Of course, because he was a good student, and because he knew that she would search at his house first, he would immediately head to the school after changing.

And, if he was at school, there was only one place he would try to hide from her before classes started.

The Archery Club.

That was why, before Shirou himself arrived, she had snuck in there herself. And, had Ayako not interrupted her, she would have already burst from her hiding place and pounced onto Shirou.

Still, it wasn't a detail she worried about. There was nothing to be done to change that now, after all.

"Tohsaka - what are you doing? Mitsuzuri right there!"

Rin paused in her efforts to liberate Shirou's uniform from his body, seriously considering his words.

"Well, I suppose if we could get rid of her, if you want. Unless you would rather have her join in; we could call it a club activity."

"H-hey!" Ayako shouted, placing her hand on Rin's shoulder. "You're not being serious, are you?!"

"What, you don't want to do it? Don't worry, if it's you then I don't mind sharing him; we're friends after all."

Ayako didn't know what to say to that.

Shirou began to panic.

"Don't tell me you're actually considering it, are you Mitsuzuri?!"

"Shut up!" Rin said, pushing him back to the ground. "Just why are you complaining?"

Shirou finally stopped resisting. Just why -was- he complaining, anyway?

However, though he thought about it, he never did get a chance to change his answer. It was then, at that moment, that yet another person chose to appear. Seeming to come out of nowhere, the intruder flew into the dojo and threw Rin off of Shirou.

Rin quickly recovered, growling at her unknown assaulter - until, of course, she recognized her.

"Sa-Sakura?! Why are you here?"

"I'm a member of this club," she said, narrowing her eyes. "Now, I ask you, what do you think you're doing with Senpai?"

Rin gulped.

It would be hard to come up with an excuse for a situation like the one Sakura had found them in. There wouldn't be many explanations for why she had been on top of Shirou, or why she had been undressing him, after all.

Fortunately, Rin considered herself a master of deceit.

Unfortunately, the only person she could ever deceive was herself.

"I'm just saying hello to Emiya-kun."

To be fair, given Sakura's condition, she might have bought it - had she not been familiar with the meme herself.

Shinji, who had finally caught up to his sister, immediately burst into tears, not that Shirou could blame him.

Well...actually, he could.

"I told you not to put that motivational poster on your wall!"

---

When Issei had woken up, he had thought it would just be another ordinary day.

And, like everybody else, he was wrong.

As it turned out, Shirou had appeared at his door early that morning, clad in the strangest outfit that the other boy had ever seen him in. When Issei asked about what was going on, the red head had simply answered with, "Rin's crazy, Issei!"

Which, to be honest, he already knew.

"You got involved with her, didn't you?" Issei asked, glancing at his friend (who had borrowed his uniform) as they headed to school.

"Yeah, I did," Shirou replied with a tired nod of his head. "Though, it's not like I had planned for anything to happen - it just started all of a sudden."

"All of a sudden?" Issei raised a brow. "Just how far did you two go?"

Shirou hesitated. He wasn't sure if he really should be telling anyone what happened. Some things were better off as secrets - and other things people wouldn't believe at all.

Likely, it fell under both categories this time.

"I...don't want to talk about it."

And, just like that, the topic was dropped. If Shirou didn't want to talk about it, Issei wouldn't ask any further.

He was his friend, after all. He could respect his privacy - at least, until it became a problem.

That was when the school exploded. Or a part of it anyway.

"Di..did that come from the Archery Club's dojo?"

"Yes," Shirou said grimly. "Yes it did."

Shirou had a bad feeling about this. A very bad feeling.

Whatever had happened, whatever had caused it, was bound to be trouble.

And yet that was the very reason he had already taken off running, leaving behind Issei in the dust. What mattered most was not his own safety, but that of those who might be caught in it.

There was no second thought, nor was there ever a first. Without any hesitation, he charged headfirst into whatever danger there might be.

He was, after all, Emiya Shirou.

It didn't matter that he didn't know what he would find; he didn't care.

If he had, though, he probably would have been running in the opposite direction.

---

"I'm screwed, aren't I?"

"You have no idea."


	3. Three Shirou

"EMIYA" by Mereo Flere

Disclaimer: I don't own Fate/Stay Night.

---

Emiya was not a name that originally belonged to Shirou. The truth of the matter was that the man known as Kiritsugu was not his real father. However, since that day seven years ago, when he was saved from the blazing inferno that had engulfed Fuyuki City, that name had defined the young man's life more than anything else ever had - or anything that would follow.

It defined him more than the Hero's path, the ideal he would ultimately be forced to abandon.

It defined him more than the blades he would carve out of his own soul, those fragments of existences that were not truly his own.

It defined him even more than the people who loved him, in all of his lives.

All of those things would only come to be because he was Emiya.

However, without any knowledge of what would lie ahead, this Shirou had already begun to regret the name he had adopted.

"Emiya..."

The voice seemed to purr out to him, yet he couldn't help but wonder who it was for. Even if he seemed to be oblivious at times, he still remembered clearly the way her eyes would shine around Kiritsugu. Not for the first time, he wondered who she saw when she looked at him with those eyes, and whether or not that the flicker he would sometimes catch belonged to him or a memory.

He was jealous. He knew himself well enough to understand that much. He also knew that staying as they were would only make things more complicated. Entangled in the blankets as they were, he was afraid what they would do if she woke up now - what they would ask, and say. He found no comfort within the confines of his own home (inherited from that very same man), and he couldn't imagine facing her so soon, even if all they had shared was a simple cold.

Especially when that's not all there had been.

One hand squeezed the other's, tempting him to stay. However, steeling his resolve, he let go of her and removed himself from the room, trying to figure out how he would avoid her at school even as he passed through the door.

It was only later, when he was halfway to the campus, did he regret not putting a note for Sakura. The thought was short lived, though; she actually hadn't shown up at his house in a few days. It was instead replaced with worry, and he wondered if something had happened to her.

Little did he know that her safety would be the least of his worries.

Perhaps her sanity, but not her safety.

"Maybe I'll hide in the Archery Club."

---

Believe it or not, Sakura had not been responsible for the explosion at the dojo - at least, not directly. Despite whatever power up she had appeared to receive, she was not trained at all in the use of her power.

So, when she blindly leaped at Rin, she should have had no way of defending herself against the magic jewel that had flown at her, nor the explosion that had immediately followed the impact. However, as the smoked cleared, Rin had quickly realized that she had underestimated her kouhai.

With an arrogant laugh, Sakura stepped forward into view, appearing unscathed by her elder's attack. Holding up her brother as a (now rather battered) meat shield, she raised her free palm up as a challenge.

It was decided later on that her next words were how the sibling rivalry had truly begun.

"Is that all you have, Senpai?"

Rin rolled her sleeves up, her smile not quite reaching her twitching eye. "No," she said dangerously, brandishing her arm like a gun. "Not at all."

Thus, a furious battle commenced.

Tossing her brother aside, Sakura leaped at Rin. Tackling her sister to the ground, they proceeded to bite and claw, grab and tear, doing whatever they could to the other. Rolling on the ground as they were, the two kicked up so much dust that nobody could really tell what was going on.

However, from what little he could see, Shirou already could knew one thing: "I'm screwed, aren't I?"

At his side, his fromer captain simply nodded her head in agreement. "You have no idea."

Before she could elaborate further, though, she was snatched up by a speeding blur. Not that Shirou would notice; only a moment later, as he was turning his head to see what had happened, he would find himself kidnapped as well.

When Issei finally arrived, all he found were Rin and the Sakura, still caught up in their cat fight, an unconscious Shinji whose clothes were still smoking from whatever he had been through, and absolutely no sign of his friend at all.

"Just what the hell happened here?!"

---

As it turned out, Rin wasn't as good at Shirou hunting as she thought she was. The truth of the matter was that the Shirou that she was looking for, the Shirou that had become her servant, had gone to Issei's earlier, believing that Rin would expect him to go back to his own home. It was only now that he had arrived at the scene, though everybody else was too fixated on the cat fight to even notice.

However, he had already accepted that his life had gone crazy and didn't even bat an eye at the two girls wrestling on the ground. Instead, something else had caught his eye, a few feet from where the sisters were fighting, a person that he had never expected to see here: Himself.

Something was going on. He wasn't sure what, or why, but Shirou knew that his other self would be the key to finding the answer, and the sooner the insanity ended, the better.

However, he couldn't talk to himself here. Rin was right there, and he had a feeling that being confronted by Rin wouldn't be the best idea at the moment - and he had a feeling that he would have to avoid Sakura as well. They would need to find someplace safe.

Without another thought, he dashed past the sisters, stepping over (or rather, on) the not yet unconscious Shinji, and grabbed the first person and ran. Concentrating on this one task, he moved faster than he had ever before.

It was such a shame that he grabbed the wrong person.

---

Shirou wasn't sure how it had happened. While he certainly didn't have time to double check who he had kidnapped, he was sure that he would have noticed a pair of breasts that he could not recall ever having himself.

...sooner, of course.

"Just where do you think you're looking?" Ayako asked blandly, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Ah...sorry about that."

Needless to say, things had not turned out as he had wanted them to.

Mitsuzuri Ayako had even less of an idea of what was going on. One moment, Shirou was on the ground next to her, and in the next he had swept her up in his arms, carrying her away from the school. However, anybody could tell that something was going on, even ignoring the fact that Shirou seemed to be breaking the speed limit - on foot.

Something had happened between him and Rin - something that had made him run away from her not once but twice, and turned Rin into a nymphomaniac. Sakura had shown up as well, and had gotten into a fight with Rin. While she didn't know why Shinji was there, it was clear that the two girls were arguing over Shirou. Finally, there was Rin's "invitation," and Shirou himself had been looking at her oddly only a moment earlier.

Suddenly, she understood.

"It's a harem, isn't it?"

It all made sense, really. Over the years, he had always been surrounded by a number of girls, many of whom seemed to fall in love with him after a while. All this time though, she had thought he hadn't noticed - and yet...

Yet, he had manage to hide it from her all this time.

"No!" Shirou denied hastily. "Just what would give you that idea?"

Clearly he thought that he could continue to deceive her. However, Ayako thought, he had made a mistake when he had added Rin to his mistresses and now she knew the truth.

"Didn't I tell you Shirou? You can't lie to me.

"Don't worry," she continued, wrapping an arm around his neck. "I'll keep it a secret. Rin already promised to share you with me, anyway."

---

"So let me get this straight. You're telling me that a 'Holy Grail War' is going on."

"That's correct - though technically it hasn't begun yet."

"And that in that war there are seven masters."

"Yes, that's right."

"Those masters each summon a servant - a hero from across the ages - to fight each other to the death, to have their wish granted by the Holy Grail."

"Mm-hmm."

"You're one of those servants, summoned by Sakura."

"Right."

"And apparently I got summoned as one too by Rin, and now there are two of me running around."

"Uh-huh."

Yet, even though he could comprehend everything she had told him, he could only come to one conclusion.

"That makes perfect sense."

Rider blinked - not that Shirou could tell, of course.

"To be honest, I had expected you to call me crazy or something along those lines."

"You're carrying me about a hundred feet in the air right now. Even if I didn't believe you, I don't think it would be wise to make you mad and drop me."

She had to admit, he had a point.

Not that she would actually drop him. There was a reason she had grabbed him in the first place, and she couldn't afford to have him die.

"So, why didn't you just grab the other me?" Shirou finally asked, his curiosity piquing as they finally touched land again. "If he's the reason this mess started, shouldn't he be your target?"

"It is...complicated." Rider let Shirou down from her arms, though she kept a firm grip on his hand to keep him from trying to run away. "Even if he is an accidental servant, it is highly likely that he could put up a resistance. An attempt to capture him would be dangerous - if not fatal for one of the parties involved.

"However, if my objective is a normal human, then it should be a simple task to kidnap him."

"Ah," Shirou said, nodding in understanding. "I see.

"Wait. Kidnap?"

"That is correct."

"Fuck."

---

"Maybe later."

Lancer's eye twitched.

"Why not immediately? You saw that explosion - there has to be a battle going on over there."

"Isn't it obvious?" Bazette said, carefuly to keep her voice low. Even in a relatively empty street, she didn't want anybody to overhear their conversation. Though a normal human would only hear her side in the first place, appearing to talk to herself would only raise even more suspicion. "That's precisely why we can't go there right now. For all we know, it could be a trap."

"You're just being paranoid."

"I'm being cautious. This Emiya Shirou...there is no telling what tricks he may have up his sleeve. For someone to have been handpicked by Kiritsugu to become his heir, he must truly be a truly ruthless opponent.

"Besides," she added, "Nobody but an idiot would reveal themselves so blatantly in the middle of the day without a reason."

"Is that so?" Lancer asked. "Then what would you call that up there?"

Bazette followed Lancer's finger, looking up into the sky where he was pointing. Within a moment, she saw what he was pointing at, and smiled.

"An idiot."

---

To be fair, Emiya Shirou was not the one who decided that it would be a good idea to be jumping around a hundred feet in the air in the middle of the day. For some reason, Rider tended to forget that not everybody went around wearing blindfolds all the time.

However...

His screaming certainly wasn't helping in any way whatsoever.

"Would you please be quiet? Someone might hear us."

If it weren't for the fact that he was slung over her shoulder, Shirou would have stared at Rider at this.

Though, he was quiet.

...for a moment.

"That's what you're worried about?!"

"Yes," she replied, calmly. "After all, it would be unfortunate if the enemy were to discover us."

"You do realize that you're the one kidnapping me, right?"

"Yes, and?"

Somehow, he had a feeling that she would say something like that.

Still, he couldn't see how this day could get any worse. What could someone else possibly want with him, after all?

"Hold it right there, Emiya Shirou!"

Then again, he hadn't really needed an answer to that question.

Because of his position, the only view Shirou could get was of one Rider's ass. While that was certainly not a bad one, it didn't help at all at figuring out who was calling him out.

However, if the pattern held true, then it would be yet another woman to make his life even more insane.

Surprisingly Rider did stop, immediately recognizing the duo that had ambushed them as a master and her servant. Even if she tried to run away, it would be no easy task if she had to carry Shirou.

"Who are you, and how do you know his name?" Rider asked, finally setting Shirou down.

"Tha-that's none of your business!" Bazette yelled, wisely hiding the picture that Kotomine had given her in her back pocket.

Behind the blindfolds Rider glared, drawing her weapon from the air. "If you intend to interfere with my master's wishes," she said, referring to Sakura, "Then it is entirely my business."

"Is that it?" Lancer scoffed, stepping forward at Rider's challenge. "If these two are our opponents, I have no idea what you were so worried about, Master."

Bazette bit her lip. The truth was, she was confused as well. A part of her had been looking forward to matching wits with Emiya Shirou.

Yet, for him and his servant to be caught so easily...it was almost disappointing.

However, they couldn't afford to hesitate now. Even if the boy was more foolish than Kotomine had thought he would be, they still had a servant as their opponent.

She just hoped that it wasn't a trap after all.

"Don't go easy on her just because she's a girl!"

"Don't worry, I'm always hard for a woman."

Nobody said anything.

Then...

"Shirou," Rider said. "You fight him."

Bazette couldn't blame the woman. Neither could Shirou.

Even if he was going to die.

A vein above Lancer's eye bulged as a dark aura enveloped him. There was definitely no doubt about it here.

"Yeah, I'm definitely going to die."

"Damn straight you are!"

What followed was the shortest fight scene ever.

It had happened all too fast for Shirou to tell was happening. All he could remember was Lancer charging at him, Rider telling him to get away, and the bright flash that had engulfed them all.

Yet, even when the light had faded, he could not feel the cold steel of the spear. Not even a single scratch had been suffered by him - the worst pain damage he had suffered was from when he had fallen on his ass. It was only when his sight returned that he and everybody else understood what had happened.

Servant Saber had appeared.

If not the correct one.

In front of Shirou, holding Lancer at bay with a blade, was a tall man. With a dark complexion, and silver hair held up in spikes, he had an almost familiar appearance to Shirou...

...though he couldn't recall ever meeting any cross dressers.

"Are you my ma-wait, what the hell happened to my clothes?!"

Shirou was too stunned by the appearance, as well as the appearance, of the man to say anything. However, he too wondered silently just why the man was armored in a blue dress.

The answer would have to come another time, though.

"Lancer, it's a trap!"

---

She couldn't believe it.

Emiya Shirou...he had a hidden ace up his sleeve after all.

To think that he would summon a second servant in their battle - but that should have been impossible.

Could it be that he had been planning to lure them in this entire time?

The answer was obvious now.

She had been a fool to believe that she had overestimated Shirou.

"Lancer, it's a trap!"

Her servant didn't get a chance to answer.

Her warning was too late - no, it had made things worst after all.

At that moment...

At that time...

A surge of power overcame the enemy's new servant.

And she knew that she had made a mistake.

"WHO DO YOU THINK YOU'RE CALLING A TRAP?!"

Though Lancer tried to defend, the force against him was overwhelming. The blade that had stopped him became too fast, too strong, for him to block.

The sword fell, and soon so did Lancer. Bazette could only stare in amazement, realizing that only the flat of the blade had been used.

"Don't tell me you're planning to spare us," she said, her knees feeling weak.

"Tsk," Saber said, "I just wasn't paying attention to how I was holding the sword, that's all."

"Is that...so?" Bazette laughed, it seemed to be a little too ridiculous. "Well, do with us as you wish. We have lost completely."

"Aren't you giving up a little too easily?" Saber asked, raising a brow.

Bazette shook her head. "No, I can tell when I am defeated. From now on, we shall serve Shirou-sama."

"...by the way," Saber said, blinking. "Just how do you know my name?"

Suddenly, there was another awkward silence.

---

Somewhere, nearby, a little girl smiled. Beside her, a woman in black armor stood silently, watching the scene with her behind her visor.

"So, the third one has appeared. Master, what do you plan to do?"

"With this, the Holy Grail War truly begun. Shall we go meet them, my precious Onii-chans?"

"If that is as you wish, Master."

Ilya nodded. "Then let's go, Berserker."

---

End of Chapter 3.


	4. Kiritsugu!

"EMIYA" by Mereo Flere

Disclaimer: I don't own Fate/Stay Night.

---

He couldn't remember how long it had been since he was knocked out. Actually, he couldn't remember much at all.

He knew there had been a battle. He knew that he had lost.

Yet...who had he been fighting?

Why?

The voices that called out to him, they could hold the answer. But, right now, they were asking the questions, not him.

"Are you okay, Lancer?"

Of course he wasn't.

His head hurt, and if he could move his hand enough to feel his forehead he was sure that he would find a large lump there. Pain, however, was the least of his problems.

"I guess I am," he said slowly, not believing himself.

Finally opening his eyes he saw that there were four people hovering above him closely: Three - no, two - women, a boy, and a man who was in a dress.

He...didn't recognize any of them. They, however, seemed to recognize him.

Sort of.

"Why are you calling me Lancer?" he asked, holding his head in his hands. "Isn't my name Shirou? Emiya Shirou?"

Nobody answered. Perhaps they didn't want to answer, or perhaps it was just too stupid a question, but they didn't answer.

He tried another one.

"And why is that man in a dress anyway?"

This time, he did get a response.

"Wait, Saber, don't!"

---

Shirou sighed.

"Did you really have to hit him again?"

The other Shirou, the one known as Saber, brandished his blade dangerously at his younger self. "Would you rather I kill you instead."

"No," Shirou said, nervously pushing point of the sword away from him. "No, thanks."

"That's what I thought."

On the other side of Lancer, opposite of the two, Rider crossed her arms as she reexamined the fallen servant. "It's probably for the best," she said, finally looking up. "The last thing we need is to complicate matters any further."

Bazette furrowed her brow. Even if they had explained it to her in the time that her servant had been knocked out (the first time), she still didn't know what to make of it. After all, it wasn't exactly a situation one ever expected to come across.

The young man was Emiya Shirou. The servant that he had summoned, Saber, was also Emiya Shirou.

And, if Rider (who turned out to not be Shirou's servant after all) was telling the truth, there was yet another Shirou, a spitting image of the one in front of her, that had been summoned by Tohsaka Rin.

"What are we going to do?" she asked.

"Nothing," Rider said. "My own objectives haven't changed. The Holy Grail War is going on, and my loyalty to my master remains."

Shirou blinked. "Wait, you're not still planning on kidnapping me, are you?"

"Yes."

And, just like that, before the young man could even try to escape, the female servant grabbed Shirou and disappeared into the sky with him.

After a moment of staring in disbelief, Bazette turned to face the only one still conscious besides herself.

"You're not going to stop them, Saber-sama?"

Saber raised a brow, acting as if that was the most absurd idea in the world. "Should I?"

"Well," Bazette said, looking around nervously. "He is your master."

"And...?"

Bazette could feel a large drop of sweat on the back of her head. "And what are you going to do about prana?"

Saber paused at this.

"I...hadn't thought of that."

---

"I have an idea."

"Is it sex?" a different Shirou asked. "Because, I already told you that now is not the time."

Ayako pouted playfully. "I don't see what the problem is."

Shirou's eye twitched as he looked at the girl in his arms.

"We're currently being chased by a psychotic little girl who came literally out of nowhere claiming to be my sister and her sword swinging maniac of a bodyguard who declares, quite loudly, that she's going to eat me, as she destroys anything in her way chasing after us. How could you -not- see this as a problem."

"Rin would think it was kinky."

Once again, Shirou's eye twitched. Not because Ayako was joking around, but because...well, she wasn't.

Rin seemed like she would be the type to secretly be into these kind of things, after all.

Not like that was really secret anymore.

"That's funny. Really funny. Want to stop and tell that to -them-?"

Ayako shook her head quickly.

"Well then, do you actually have a plan?"

"You could fight back," Ayako suggested hesitantly. Thrusting a fist in the air, she continued excitedly, "You've gotten stronger after all. Why not show that girl a thing or two!"

Shirou did not share her enthusiasm, and it wasn't just because she had punched him in the face.

"I don't have any weapons!" he practically screamed, nodding his head back in the direction of Berserker - and, more specifically, her weapon. "What do you expect me to do against a sword, drop my pants and fight with that?"

His former captain opened her mouth to speak, before blushing.

"Well?" Shirou asked.

"I'm sorry," she said, her face reddening even deeper. "I was just imagining it for a moment."

Shirou stared blandly at her. "You can't be serious."

"You're the one that suggested it!"

"I wasn't being serious either!"

The bickering went on for a few more lines, until a battle cry behind them interrupted them. Shirou glanced back nervously, before suddenly realizing that the girl and her bodyguard (Ilya and Berserker, wasn't it?) had managed to catch up to them quite a bit.

"Run as far as you can, Archer, but you'll never outrun Berserker!"

Needless to say, it was enough of a shock to remind him of the, admittedly insane, reality he was in.

"Why is she calling you Archer, anyway?"

"Does that really matter now?" he asked, desperately trying to think of a plan.

"Well, it sounds like a cute bedroom name."

"...I won't comment on your taste."

---

Truth be told, Ayako didn't really believe that they were in any danger.

When Ilya and Berserker had shown up and introduced themselves, she figured out pretty quickly what they really were: Part of his harem.

It was obvious that Berserker was a cosplay maniac, and as for her "Master" Ilya it was pretty clear that Shirou liked younger girls. While it was shown a little with Sakura, she wasn't at all surprised when Ilya called Shirou "Onii-chan" - though, Archer was a different story.

Though, he had been part of the Archery Club before...so she could see where it might come from. Shirou always had had an excellent shooting technique.

Still, all this effort to try to run away from them was a pretty weak attempt to deny that he was building a harem. She played along though, if only because he was being stubborn.

Besides, she didn't feel like sharing right now.

Soon enough, she saw her opportunity. "Hey, Archer!" she said, resisting the urge to smile evilly.

"What, you're calling me that now too?"

"Never mind that," she said, waving him off. "Let's hide in there!"

She pointed to a building as they turned the corner and, without a second thought, Shirou ran in. Slamming the doors behind them, he left calming down the clerk to Ayako and moved over to the window. Sure enough, the loli and her guardian appeared on the street, pausing to find their prey once again.

He could feel his heart beat faster as Berserker seemed to look in the building, and then at his specific direction. Pulling the curtain before their eyes could met, he turned around and prepared to grab Ayako and run again. He was stopped, however, when he found her already next to him, placing her finger on his mouth.

Holding up a room key, she smiled at him. Shirou pulled back, already over his surprise.

"Is this another one of your bright ideas?"

"Do you have any other choice?"

She had a point.

But...it wasn't like he needed another one in the first place.

---

Archer, the Shirou Ilya had decided to chase after first, really had been surprising. Servant or not, she would have never expected him to have been able to evade Berserker for so long - especially while he was carrying another person.

However, impressive or not, it was definitely a feat that was frustrating her to no end.

After all, how could she continue to play with him if he kept disappeared?

"Berserker, are you sure you're not holding back?"

"Of course not, Master," Berserker replied, still scouting the area for Archer.

She herself had her own reason for chasing him down, even if it was a little different. While the madness granted by her class hindered her ability to think clearly, there was one thing she understood beyond her master's orders: Emiya Shirou was someone she had to go after.

A hint of a memory had definitely sparked at Saber's arrival, but it was too small, too confusing to understand now.

That's why she had to hunt him down. All of him, if necessary.

"Berserker," Ilya said, tugging on Berserker's hair. "What's taking you so long? Haven't you found his scent yet?"

Berserker nodded her head, raising her sword to the building before her. "I have, Master."

Ilya smiled. "Then go!"

Breaking down the door, Berserker marched past the counter, ignoring the now cowering clerk who was stuttering something about disturbing the customers. Shoving past said customers, garbed in little more than robes and blankets, she headed up the stairs, to a room on the third floor. Taking a moment to glare at the crowd that had formed behind them, she stepped forward and kicked yet another door off its hinges.

Without any hesitation, Berserker then stepped in, careful to duck so that her master wouldn't hit her head on the frame. Ilya then opened her mouth to speak, to pronounce her victory over Shirou. At the time, she would be interrupted, not that it wasn't to be expected.

In Rin's eyes, it was only more than there, considering that Ilya had interrupted them in the first place.

"Just what do you think you're doing?!"

Needless to say, the Tohsaka heir was the last person Ilya had expected to be there.

Especially not naked, covered only in a blanket on top of a heart shaped bed.

"Are you sure you had the right room?" Ilya asked Berserker.

"I am sure, Master."

"Hey!" Rin protested, sitting up in bed. "Don't just ignore me! What the hell are you two doing here?!"

"That's none of your concern," Ilya snapped, glaring at the other girl. "Now tell us where Archer is!"

"I don't know what you're talking about!"

"Is that so?"

Ilya narrowed her eyes, focusing on Rin. Though she was partially blocking the view, upon closer inspection it was clear that there was someone hiding underneath the blanket.

"Berserker!"

Her servant nodded, understanding the unspoken command, though she had started to get annoyed by her Master's repeated use of her title. Without a word, she went beside the bed and grabbed the blanket. Though Rin resisted, her strength was no match for Berserker, and soon the covering was tossed aside, revealing all.

Literally.

"A-another girl?!"

Ilya blushed. Berserker turned her head to her side, sure she could smell the scent of Emiya Shirou on the girl.

As for the girl herself, she did her best to hide her bare body with the pillow, while Rin threw hers at the intruders.

"Get out!"

Ilya, already embarrassed enough as she was, decided to obey an order - just this once.

---

"Are they gone, Rin?"

After Berserker had sheepishly tried to put the door back in its place, and more or less succeeding in covering the hole, Shirou finally felt safe enough to pop his head out of the bathroom.

Of course, once he saw the state the girls were in, he decided to duck back in.

"Don't be so shy," Rin said, smiling evilly as she laid back down in bed.

"You two are naked!"

Rin raised a brow, mimicked by her self in the ceiling mirror above the bed. "And your point is?" she asked, tracing her fingers over her body. "It was part of the plan, after all. Besides, you're a guy - you should be taking advantage of a situation like this."

"Never mind that," Shirou said, resisting the urge to even look again at his schoolmates. "How'd you get here before us? I thought you were still back at school!"

"I just had a feeling." It wasn't a lie - she had finally cheated, and decided to feel the flow of prana from herself to Shirou - which had led her to him here.

"So," Ayako said, still clutching the pillow close to herself. "Will anybody tell me why she called him Archer?"

"Ah, that. It's probably his class." Though it was surprising that the white haired girl would know what Shirou's class was, it did fit. If she recalled correctly, Shirou did know how to use a bow after all.

"Class?" Ayako blinked, wondering what her friend was talking about.

"Ah, forget about it. Let's just get down to the serious business."

"And that is?" Shirou asked, already knowing the answer.

"It should be obvious," Ayako said, replying for Rin. "It's sex."

"And Shirou," Rin said, raising her hand to appraise her command seals. "Don't even think of getting away."

"I couldn't even if I tried, could I?"

---

Archer needed a miracle to escape this situation.

Though, he wouldn't have exactly called Ilya and Berserker busting through the door again exactly a miracle.

"Hold it right there! You didn't think that I'd fall for such a simple deception, did you?"

"Well," Ayako said, knowingly. "You did say you were his little sister."

"...you've got me there, I suppose."

"Hey!"

---

Saber had known that it would be difficult to track down Rider. As the fastest servant, it was no problem for her to make a quick getaway when she wanted to. While he had an idea where to go, getting close to her without her notice was going to be difficult.

If he failed, he would likely have trouble staying in the Holy Grail War; it was already difficult enough, with his past self as his master. While he had a nagging suspicion that getting away might be a good thing, there was a part of him that insisted that he find out what was going on.

Bazette, however, had other things on her mind.

"You're more amazing than I thought you'd be," she said, briefly looking at him from the corner of her eye. "To think, someone from our day an age could be summoned not just as one heroic spirit, but two."

"That's exactly the problem," Saber said, sighing. "Something like this normally isn't supposed to happen."

Before he could elaborate further, a side of a building seemed to explode a couple streets ahead. Without even enhancing his eyes, he could see a woman in black armor, chasing a very familiar figure - himself.

Wearing his clothes.

Suddenly, Saber had a new reason to kill Emiya Shirou. Though, it appeared that Saber - no, he was Saber this time - Arturia was doing a pretty good job of it herself.

"What just happened?" Bazette asked, as unsure what to do.

"I have no idea, but I'm going to find out."

---

It turns out that he wouldn't. At least, not right away.

Before he had even taken a step, Saber felt the presence of yet another enemy. Unable to pinpoint the exact location, he scanned the area, looking for any signs of an attack. Beside him, Bazette stood nervously, wondering what had overcome him.

Suddenly, she fell forward. Eyes wide, he caught her in one arm, but breathed a sigh of relief when he found that she was only unconscious. Setting her slowly on the ground, he turned around to face the person who had knocked her out.

Emiya Kiritsugu. His adopted father, the man who had set Saber himself down the path of justice and - judging from the clothes he wore - the Assassin of this Holy Grail War.

"I'm not sure whether to thank you or kill you right now, Father."

Kiritsugu smiled wearily at him.

"I just want to see how much you've grown. Someone like her would only be a distraction for the two of us."

Saber called his weapon. Assassin raised his guns. Even with the other battle so close by, they both knew Saber couldn't run away from this confrontation.


	5. Shirou Muyo

"EMIYA" by Mereo Flere

Disclaimer: I don't own Fate/Stay Night

--

How long had it taken for Shirou's day to absolutely go to hell? To tell you the truth, answering that question would depend on which one you were talking about.

First, there was normal Shirou, the only one who hadn't been summoned as a servant in this fiasco. His day had started out running away from his teacher for some as of yet unexplained reason, only to get caught up in a fight between Rin and Sakura. Whoever had won, he probably would have lost had he not been carried away from the scene by the mysterious Rider - only to be now carried back to one of them by the same person.

There was also Archer, who was more or less the normal Shirou who had been called forth by a certain Tohsaka Rin. Narratively speaking, he was the first one who had shown up in the story, and the first one to get screwed over. Since this morning, after a traumatizing event involving his body and piranha that apparently were inside or a part of Rin, he been running away from his new "Mistress." Though he had earlier decided to help her in this war, even he couldn't help but fear for his life, with such a carnivorous expression on her face.

Of course now, after accidentally kidnapping his senior, he was chased down by a little girl calling herself his sister and that girl's servant, a blond beauty who was crazily swinging around a sword bigger than anyone present. Somehow, Rin had also caught up to them, and had undressed both herself and Ayako, though looking back now he had to wonder if that helped at all.

Then there was Saber. In another world, he would have been the one to be summoned as Archer. Instead, he had been summoned by the normal Shirou of this world as, of course, Saber. This itself would not have been a problem if it weren't for the fact that his clothes had been changed into a dress in the process. After venting his frustrations on Lancer twice, Rider had stolen his Master, and soon after Lancer's Master, the woman Bazette, had started to follow him around. To make matters worse, his adopted father had somehow appeared, having been drawn into the mess as a Servant.

For all of them, the day had been varying degrees of terrifying. There was, however, one person for whom all these things worked out perfectly for. Sitting back at the side lines, she watched the events unfold with a smile.

--

Even though it was already midday, and much of the student body had arrived in the morning, the school was now eerily quiet. With rumors of a battle, possibly two, going on in the city, many had decided to ditch, with most of them off to watch the action. However, there were still those that remained - some by choice, some not.

For Matou Sakura and her brother Shinji, neither wanted to be kept in the disciplinary room. Sakura wanted to hurry up after Shirou, and Shinji just wanted to get the hell away from her. Luckily for them, Issei had just finished lecturing them about fighting on school, deciding that it was pointless considering the state of things.

That meant that they were free; at least, Shinji was free for exactly two glorious seconds. Before he could make it out the door, his sister grabbed him by the collar, pulling him back in.

"Where do you think you're going?"

Shinji gulped. Once again, he could see the black aura around his younger sibling, which, and he wished that Issei would come back already. Feeling his heart drop and his balls rise, he answered with, "Nowhere."

"Good answer," Sakura replied sweetly.

Shinji wasn't sure which was scarier - her angry or her nice tone.

**"But not the best one."**

...angry. Definitely angry.

--

For those of you that were wondering, Shinji forget to put his answer in the form of a question. His life was in jeopardy, after all.

--

I mustn't run away. I mustn't run away. I mustn't run away!

Those were the words that went through Shinji's head. Without a doubt, his sister had the legs of a cheetah, and there was no way he could get away from her without a plan.

She was crazy, and there was no telling what she would do if she caught him trying to escape again. Though Sakura was preoccupied with coming up with another one of her plans, any sudden moves would alert her. Still, there had to be an escape route somewhere.

In this room, there were only two exits. The first was the door, which she kept glancing to in case someone tried to enter or leave. The other was a window, which led to a drop four stories down. But could he really do it?

Yes. He had to try.

Sneaking over to the window, he kept an eye on Sakura as she drew up some crazy diagrams on the chalk board. Slowly sliding it open, he looked out to make sure the coast was clear. After a moment's hesitation, he began to climb out, stopping when he noticed that a shadow had suddenly been cast over him.

A second later, before he could even look up, something slammed into him, knocking him unconscious.

"Sorry I'm late," Rider said, wiping Shinji off of her boot. "I managed to capture the target, though it wasn't without some complications."

Normally, Sakura would be excited to see Shirou again for any reason, and she was. Immediately, she had run over, not even listening to Rider's explanation of the events that had occurred. However, though she didn't pay attention to her servant, there was one thing she noticed something strange about Shirou.

He was unconscious - as well as something else.

"I can understand it if you had to incapacitate him, but is there any reason the two of you had to switch clothes with each other?"

There was a long pause, as Rider pondered just exactly how she had managed to make such a mistake.

"Doesn't he look sexy in a dress?"

--

It was common knowledge among the mages involved with the Holy Grail War that servants shared more than just prana with their masters. Many held similar mind sets, and when a bond between two was strong enough even memories could be passed between the two.

That was why Saber wasn't sure whether he hated or envied his younger self at the moment. Certainly, it was distracting him from the fight at hand, the visions he was receiving from his master.

What made that man, his father, so dangerous were not the weapons he used, or the strength of his magic. Kiritsugu's methods were ruthless, doing whatever means it took to accomplish his goals. If he had wanted to, he could have killed Saber by now, just as easily as he had knocked out Bazette.

And yet, after finally revealing himself, after challenging Saber to a duel...he had done nothing. It was if Kiritsugu was waiting for Saber to make the first move.

The two were separated by the width of the street. The time that it would take to close that distance would not even be the blink of an eye for Saber. Even if Kiritsugu managed to get off a couple shots, there was no way to defend himself after that.

Nonetheless, this scenario had to have been planned. There had to be something hidden here, a plot that would ensure Kiritsugu's victory if Saber acted rashly.

However, if he closed his eyes and tried to concentrate, all he could see was Rider wearing a blindfold, a smile - and nothing else. For a moment, he thought he saw fangs, ready to feed off him like a vampire. However, in Shirou - Saber's master, all the blood had rushed to one place, a fact that Rider had been keenly aware off.

Saber tried his best not to blink. Even if he wanted to.

--

Close by, Archer was having troubles of his own. One of them, perhaps the most pressing one, was the black clad knight, swinging around a club that was probably larger than herself. Already, she had already smashed her way through several buildings chasing after him, showing no signs at all of tiring.

If it weren't for the swords he had conjured up, he wouldn't have any way to defend themselves. As things were, even those barely stood up to her monstrous strength, and every time he tried to hold his ground he tended to go flying over it instead.

However...this couldn't go on forever. Either he would find a way to defeat her, or get eaten by this woman.

Considering today's earlier events, he didn't know whether she meant it figuratively, or literally. While he was tempted to ask Berserker, she was in no state of mind to answer.

Perhaps, he was better off not knowing, anyway.

Still...he had to think of something. The only plans he could think of, though, were the stupid ideas that Rin and Ayako had been feeding him all morning.

--

Rider explained, quite calmly, what had happened to Sakura. The fact was that Shirou had been struggling, making it very hard to carry him during the kidnapping. So, naturally she knocked him out the only way she knew how.

Apparently, though, this did not sit well with her master.

"You...you slept with him?!"

"Yes," Rider said, tilting her head. "Haven't I made this fact clear?"

Sakura glared at her. "Wasn't there something else that you could have done?"

"What action would you have proposed?"

"I don't know!" Sakura explained, throwing her arms up in the air. "Maybe you could have hit him or something?!"

"I did hit him. Like the fist of an angry god."

Sakura just stared at Rider, completely unsure of what to say or do. For a brief moment, the dark aura surrounded her again as she plotted her servant's demise, but calmed down.

In the end, her senpai was here now, and that was more important. It would have been nice to have taken her senpai's virginity herself, but she could always steal it from Rider later.

Never mind the fact that that wasn't how things worked. Nor would anybody bother to tell her otherwise. Shinji wouldn't, because he was too afraid of her. Rider wouldn't, because who was she to question her master's will?

However, that's a lemon for another day. At this moment, at this time, something else was more important. Something that had to be discussed immediately.

"How was it?"

Rider put her finger on her lips, humming for a moment. Finally, after some thought, she smiled impishly.

"It was everything that he dreamed that it would be. I just hope that the real thing's just as good."

"Ah..." Sakura blinked. "Wait, what?"

Ignoring the several facts about sex that Sakura had already gotten wrong, even she knew that there was something odd about what Rider had said. How could someone "do it" without actually doing it? Except in, of course, a dream.

Rider frowned. Clearly, her master was confused with yet another subject. Not that she could see why; it was all very simple.

"It was a dream. It's within my abilities, after all - to create a fantasy within another's mind. All it takes is the blindfold - and their own imagination. Unfortunately, I didn't have enough time to do anything else."

_Unfortunately_, Sakura thought, not a little bitter. Still... "Just the blindfold," she asked.

"Yes," Rider said, tilting her head. "Why do you ask?"

Sakura glanced at Shirou and, more specifically, his state of dress. Eventually, she sighed; it was just too problematic to ask about it again.

--

Eventually, one of them had to move. At the very least, one of them had to blink. In Saber's case, either one could spell defeat. Yet, one could only stand in an intimidating pose for so long before boredom set in. And, when one was bored, one couldn't help but become curious of the most mundane things.

To be fair, though, it was a legitimate question. Kiritsugu had known his son for the last years of his life. Though it had been a short amount of time, to see Shirou change so drastically...it had caught him off guard, even if he didn't show at first.

"Shirou...just why are you wearing Arturia's dress?"

Saber's eye twitched. Several times.

"Do I LOOK like I want to?"

Kiritsugu glanced at Bazette, before looking back to Saber.

"...well, it certainly doesn't look like you wear the pants in your relationship."

Saber opened his mouth, but no words came out. Without a single shot of a gun, Kiritsugu had struck his son speechless.

--

He was running out of time - and out of ways to make his internal monologue seem more dramatic than it really was. He had to face facts - he really had no options left.

Every time he thought he managed to lose Berserker, she just caught back up a moment later. Like some insane rubber band physics, it seemed that the more distance he put between them only led her to coming even closer than before.

There was one plan left that had any hope of working - and only because everything else had been crazy anyways.

He stopped and turned around. Amazingly, Berserker did too - though she still held that giant club menacingly over her head.

A bead of sweat dripped down his face, but he swallowed his fear and stepped forward - closer to his would be devourer. Then he took a deep breath, and smiled.

"So...do you want to have sex?"

Berserker stared at him - wondering where all the pretty sparkles had appeared around Archer. After a moment, she nodded absentmindedly, and began to put the club down.

Archer relaxed, and breathed a sigh of relief. At the very least, he wouldn't be killed - and it's not like this girl could be worse than Rin and Ayako combined.

This peaceful moment didn't last long, though, as suddenly something very big and very heavy smashed into his head. Berserker, now standing over an unconscious Archer, only looked around, before dragging him away.

--

Elsewhere, some people were lost.

"We're not lost."

And in denial. But mostly lost.

Ayako wasn't even sure how this had happened. It was tough enough just understanding everything Rin had told her, let alone this. Apparently, though, the girls from before weren't part of Shirou's harem after all - but that could have just been Rin being jealous. As for Mages and Masters and Servants, it all sounded like some weird role playing game they had gotten into.

Probably LARP.

She couldn't deny, though, that if this was a game, then everybody was very good at playing it. Or very bad, she thought, looking at the city. She didn't even recognize the block they were on.

"I'm telling you, we're lost. We don't know where we are, and we don't know where they are either."

"We're not lost!"

"Saying it even louder doesn't make it true, you know."

Rin frowned.

The problem wasn't that they were lost. It was just, the servants were just too fast. Even if they just followed the destruction, the ones they were chasing were just too far ahead.

"At this rate, Archer and Berserker might very well lap us."

"This isn't a race, Rin," Ayako said, sighing. "Besides, what do we have to lose?"

"Shirou's virginity, of course!"

--

"At last, Shirou's virginity is mine!"

Cackling evilly, the background behind Sakura turned into a night sky with thunderclouds. Bolts of lightning seemed in synch with her laughter, going on for a few minutes. She had waited a long time for this moment - so it was only natural for her to celebrate her victory.

It all ended when Rider spoke up, returning reality to the boring classroom they were in.

"Actually, Shirou's not a virgin."

"What?!" Sakura slammed her hands on the desk. This was impossible; she already thought it had been stolen away once, but to have it happen again - "You, you told me you only slept with him inside his dream."

"I did."

"But not in reality."

"...no, not technically."

"So he's a virgin, then."

"No."

"B-but how?!"

"Well, when a man and a woman - "

Sakura shook her head. That's not what she wanted to know, even though she should have.

"No...I mean, who? If not you, then who got to him first?"

Rider stroked her chin. "Someone named...Tiger, I believe."

"Taiga?!"

Suddenly, the door opened.

"Did someone call me? Hey, is that Shirou? I've been looking everywhere for him!

"Why is he in a dress?"

All of her questions were quickly answered - with a swift chop to the back of the head. Dropping like a sack of potatoes, she joined the "Unconscious Anonymous" club.

Rider clapped. She had never seen a normal move so swiftly before. Then again, her master was hardly normal.

--

As one member joined the club, another one exited.

Lancer awoke with a groan, holding his head in his hands. He had a headache, but that was only to be expected when you suffered blows to your skull. Whatever the reason was, it made it hard to think, and he could barely remember what he was doing here.

This time, however, he remembered who he was, at least vaguely. He was a servant, fighting in the Holy Grail War...

"But, where is my Master?"

He couldn't remember who it was, not completely. A woman, he recalled, but nothing else. Not her face, nor her name. Either way, she wasn't here.

Or so he thought.

"Don't worry," a female voice said, behind him. A presence Lancer had not sensed at all. "I'm right here."

He spun around to face the woman, calling his weapon to his side. In an instant, the tip of his spear was at the throat, steadily remaining a mere inch from the flesh.

"Who are you?" he asked.

The woman smiled, completely unshaken. Gently, she pushed aside the noble phantasm, away from her. Gentler still, she spoke, in that voice that was unfamiliar.

"Weren't you the one calling me? Don't tell me you've forgotten already," she said, managing to pout. "I'm your master - Caren Ortensia."

Lancer paused. He didn't know if she was lying - but she was the one who was at his side...even if he hadn't noticed her at first. Besides, why would his master lie?

He could feel it, too, the bond of prana between them. If there was ever any proof he needed, that was it.

"O-of course, how could I forget? So, what is you'd have me do, Master?"

"Catch our prey, of course."

"And who would that be, again I mean?"

"Emiya Shirou. All of him."


	6. Nothing actually happens Ever

"EMIYA" by Mereo Flere

Disclaimer: I don't own Fate/Stay Night

---

When Bazette awoke, it was to quite an unusual scene. Though they (she and Saber) were still on the same street as before, and not much time had apparently passed, something had clearly gone wrong.

To begin with, it was careless of her to have been knocked unconscious - she was supposed to be fighting for the Holy Grail, after all. Then there was the fact that Saber stood in front of her, sword drawn and serious expresssion on his face. Beyond him stood a man, clearly an enemy, who wielded a pair of guns already drawn in front of him.

Neither of them moved, each waiting for the other to make the first strike. The situation seemed dangerous, with tension thick in the air. Between the two, not a single sound was made, until the stranger finally noticed her almost half a minute after she awakened.

"I think she's awake."

Saber didn't respond immediately, nor even turn his head towards her. When he spoke, he kept his eyes on the enemy, but addressed her.

"Are you okay, Bazette?"

Sitting up, she nodded her head before remembering he wasn't looking at her. "Yes. But, what happened?"

At this, Saber paused again. As he looked back on the past few minutes, he resisted the urge to shake his head and sigh.

"Nothing. Absolutely nothing."

That was almost not a lie. But only barely.

"I called him a girl," Kiritsugu added helpfully.

---

When Taiga awoke, it was also an unusual scene. Never mind the fact that the last thing she could remember was Shirou in a dress - it was also the first thing she saw.

On the bright side, though, it was a pretty good view. The down side, though, was that they were both tied up, and she had a feeling that one if not both of them had been kidnapped.

She shook her head, trying to regain her composure. She was still in school, inside a classroom with a bunch of desks thrown together into a pile. Aside from herself, there were three other people, two of which she recognized and a third that she didn't.

The first was Shinji, who was off in a corner, apparently praying for his life with no small amount of apparent physical abuse. All in all, this seemed pretty normal - but was the only thing that was.

The second was Sakura, who was staring at Taiga intently. Dressed in her school uniform, she remained on the single chair that hadn't been reduced to a mangled mess, with an aura of red seeming to surround her, that only grew darker by the second.

The third was not anybody she knew, though the clothes were very familiar. Aside from the purple blindfold around her eyes, the woman wore a school uniform - a set that belonged to another person to the room.

She stared at the last woman, who stared back at her (or so it seemed). Finally, she said, after a long moment, "Shirou Cosplay sex?"

The woman nodded, clapping happily! "See, she understands!"

Sakura's eye twitched. "That's not the issue here! Besides, you said you didn't have sex with him!"

"Of course not. We haven't even taken off our clothes yet. Well, not -again- at least," she added as an afterthought.

"...I guess you're right."

Shinji, through a wisdom gained only through repeated physical abuse, chose not to point out the "yet" in Rider's answer.

---

When Archer woke up, it would be following the trend that had already happened.

Unlike the other two, though, he had no idea where he was - only that he wasn't alone. In this dark and humid place, he could feel the presence of another being, probably the one that had brought him here.

Looking around, the he noticed the golden eyes in the darkness, staring at him with a barbaric hunger. With a gulp, he sat up, and tried to back away - only to find himself against a wall.

No choice but to stare back, he chanced the only guess he had.

"Berserker?"

The creature didn't answer. Instead it came forward - slowly, but surely at him. Then, suddenly, the whole world seemed to flare up - an entire earth covered in magma, save for the single spot of land he was on.

Archer, however, did not notice the landscape change. Instead, his eyes were fixed on what he had thought had been berserker.

It was, of all things, a dragon.

A really big dragon.

And it was -smiling-, bringing all of its teeth into view. All of them very long, and very sharp.

Of course, it still wasn't scarier than Tohsaka. But it came close.

---

There were a few questions that were lingering in Bazette's mind, such as "why wasn't there anybody else around?" or "will they ever actually do something?" Eventually, though, she settled on, "Who is that man?"

It was an enemy obviously. Probably a servant. However, that wasn't what she wanted to know - and Saber understood that. It had been obvious, after all, what she was really getting at.

He sighed - but answered the question for her.

"No, he isn't another Shirou. Did you really expect yet another me to pop up?"

She pouted. Truth be told, she had been a little bit hopeful.

"It's just like that woman Rider said, isn't it? There's already two of you, so why wouldn't there be more?"

"...that..."

She had a point. But not one Saber wanted to admit. The thoughts of even more of him running around were just absurd - more so than they already were, at least.

"There's Lancer. He wasn't me."

"...well, he thought he was you."

"That doesn't count!"

"You could be related. It would explain why you used to have red hair - you were Irish all along!"

"He has blue hair!"

"So?"

Kiritsugu cleared his throat, drawing the attention of the two back to him.

"I may not be Shirou, but I am his father."

"See, there's a pattern!" Bazette said, excited. "Wait - what?"

---

Okay, so there was a pattern.

But, that didn't mean it had to be related only to him. What were the chances after all?

There was his father. He was related to him. And then there was his younger self that had been summoned as well - he was related sort of.

Then there was Arturia who he had summoned back when he went through the Holy Grail War as -his- Saber. In a way, there was a relationship there as well.

Next was Rider - who he had formed a contract with...maybe. For some reason, he couldn't remember clearly, but he had a vague feeling that something like that had happened.

But...that didn't explain Lancer at all.

More importantly -

"Bazette, get away from him! He's the enemy!"

"But I might never get an autograph from him again! Besides, it's not like you were fighting him anyway."

Saber looked at Kiritsugu, who shrugged.

"I think I liked it better when she was knocked out."

---

As it turns out, Lancer was related to Shirou, as a very distant ancestor. Of course, he couldn't remember any more descendants than the one son he had fathered - but it wasn't as if he had a very good memory recently anyway.

Case in point, the person he was with now was his master - but not the one that had summoned him. Due to his clouded mind, perhaps from taking a few too many hits in the head, he didn't realize this and followed her without any clue what had happened.

Everything else, though, was more or less in tact. He remembered Emiya Shirou as a potential enemy, and that his master (even if she was a different person) was after him, and even that there were several of them around (though, he could only remember the two he saw). He even remembered the path that he was on, since it was heading back to a very familiar place - the Church.

Still, while he wouldn't question his Master's reasoning for having him remained materialized (or why everybody kept looking his way, with mixed reactions), there were a few things he wanted to understand.

"Caren," he said, looking around. "Is there any reason we're coming back here - I thought you wanted to go after Emiya Shirou?"

"I do," she said, with a smirk. "But first, we have to wait for someone."

"Kotomine?" he said, raising a brow. Was there any reason she would have to meet him again?

"No...my mother-in-law."

"You're married?" That was an even greater shock, since she seemed a little too young for that.

"Well, not yet I suppose," she said. "That's why we're going to meet her, after all."

"Just what does this have to do with the Holy Grail War?"

"Why everything of course!"

All things considered, she was probably right.

---

Things wouldn't go as smoothly as that, however. When Caren and Lancer finally arrived, there was nobody within its halls – nobody, but the one person that Lancer had been hoping to avoid:

Kotomine.

Ever since their first meeting, Lancer had felt something odd about the priest. Though he couldn't consciously remember that particular encounter, the feeling had remained in his chest, rising once more once he saw the man again.

There were simply too many strange things about him. A man who definitely held more than his share of dangerous secrets, his involvement from the beginning had been more than just that of a simple mediator. This so called priest definitely – absolutely had some sort of plan up his sleeve.

But, Lancer had no idea what it could be. Frankly, Kotomine was someone he couldn't read at all.

Standing at the altar, Kotomine turned around, as if he had been waiting for them all along. Then, with a smile, he stepped forward, greeting Caren with open arms.

"I see you've picked him up," Kotomine said, glancing at Lancer.

Caren simply nodded, though Lancer himself didn't understand. "Picked up?" the servant asked, more than a little suspicious of the two.

"Yes," Caren said, fanning her hand in front of herself. "Really – I don't know what you were doing, lying in the middle of the street like that."

"Ah," Lancer said, clutching his head, remembering that she had just found him in that state. "Actually, I'm not too sure about that myself."

Caren smiled. She actually did know why it had happened – but did Lancer the small favor of bringing up those events, though to begin with she wasn't supposed to talk of such things in front of him.

Instead, she looked around, before turning back to Kotomine. "I take it she's not back yet?"

"Her?" Kotomine asked, though he already knew who Caren was referring too. Shaking his head slowly after a moment, he adjusted his glasses. "You know very well that she has other things to do. Be patient; everything will happen at its own pace."

Caren pouted, but otherwise didn't seem too bothered by the fact. Lancer, though, still wasn't sure who this person was.

"Who is she anyway?" he asked Caren, trying to avoid eye contact with Kotomine. "Your mother-in-law, I mean."

"Oh her?" Caren said, a mischievous smile finding its way onto her face. "She is..."

---

"My name is Irisviel von Einzbern. It's a pleasure to meet you."

In the middle of what should have been a battle, Caster had appeared, curtsying in front of Bazette, Saber and Assassin. Bazette, who had finally gotten her autograph, had finally calmed down – only to freeze up once more.

A new enemy? No, this was none other than Kiritsugu's wife.

Saber, however, was even more shocked than Bazette. This was a person that he had only heard of – and even then, only from Ilya's stories. Had things been a little different, she could've even been his mother.

Still, if she hadn't introduced herself, he would have thought that she had been an adult Ilya, and then they really would be in trouble. Ilya, with the abilities of a servant, would have been a force that nobody could have stopped.

However, this woman, Irisviel, was still a mystery to him.

Saber had stalled too long; he never thought that Assassin would have received reinforcements. But, he couldn't afford to let his guard down.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, stepping back a little.

Caster straightened up, a gentle expression on her face. Stepping closer to Assassin, who relaxed his stance, she grabbed his arm. "I came here to pick up my husband; he's running late, after all."

"Sorry about that," Kiritsugu said, running his free hand through his hair. "I haven't seen him for a long time; even if we're too fight, he's still my son."

"_Our _ son," Irisviel emphasized. "Now that I'm here, we can finally be a family."

A family.

They had to be joking, Saber thought. After all, this was supposed to be a war, not a family reunion. Even if that was how it was starting to turn out to be.

Still he gripped his weapon. Even his parents had admitted they intended to fight him. Chances were that they were involved with these mysterious events.

Therefore, they were still an enemy.

"It's an honor to meet you, Mother!"

At least, that was what he tried to tell Bazette. Truth be told, he wasn't sure whose side she was on anymore. Also – why was she already calling her mother?

"Are we going to fight? Ever?"

It was a serious question. While Saber wasn't excited to fight two servants at once, these delays were getting ridiculous. The mood in the air didn't seem to carry the intensity of a battle at all.

Kiritsugu, however, only shrugged. "The truth is, I had no intention of attacking you head on. I was just waiting for you to lower your guard long enough for your sister to sneak up behind you and knock you out."

At that time, Kiritsugu pointed to Saber – or more specifically, someone directly behind him.

"Sister?" Saber said, spinning around, finally noticing the presence. "Ilya?!"

So, she was a servant as well, after all!

"Wrong sister," the new arrival said, just before her fist collided with Saber's face.

_I didn't even know I had more than one_, Saber thought, before everything turned black.

Bazette watched Saber crumple to the ground. Before she could say anything though, reach out to him, a hand clamped onto her shoulder.

Turning around, she saw Caster smile. "It's alright. After all, she's family too."

---

Emiya Kiritsugu had been, and still was a well known name – at least within the halls of the Association. More than a magus killer, he was a brutal mercenary that used technology to counter the supernatural.

However, what most people didn't know was that he had a partner. A girl that had been saved as a child and mentored by Kiritsugu himself had, from that point on, followed that man to the last breath.

More than Shirou or Ilyasviel, she learned more from Kiritsugu than anybody else. How to fight, his way of life; to say that she wasn't his daughter was only a formality in name.

Even now, she had even been summoned along side him – as the second Servant Assassin.

"Is this man really my brother?"

The black haired woman stared down, coldly at the person she had just knocked out. Emiya Shirou. The only one of the "children" that had inherited Kiritsugu's name.

It was shameful, wasn't it?

"Don't underestimate him!" Bazette said, stepping forward. "After all, he was summoned as a servant."

Maiya's stare moved from Saber to Bazette, still as cold as before. Crossing her arms, she shrugged. "So?"

"So?"

"If you haven't noticed, being summoned as a servant isn't that special. The other Shirou is even worse than this one. Though, at least that one wasn't wearing a dress...at first."

Bazette paused. That was right; except herself, they were all servants here.

"But still, he managed to beat Lancer!"

"Only because he caught him by surprise. Besides, should you really be praising him for beating your own servant?"

"...just how long have you guys been watching us, anyway?"

"Long enough."

---

The last thing that Archer could remember was a dragon, opening its maw. With nowhere to escape, all he could do was pray that it would all be over quickly – but the dragon had no intention of having things this way. Rather than swallowing him in one gulp, the dragon kept Archer within its mouth, savoring

It was warm. It was wet. It was also very dark. However, more than anything else, it was weird. Unusual, really, and almost cruel.

Though he struggled to escape, he did nothing more than tickle the tongue, which flung him back and forth from the walls of its teeth. Eventually, though, the dragon stopped playing with its food and swallowed.

Sliding down the throat head first, it was a pit that didn't seem to end – until it did. Falling into its cavernous stomach, he landed in something hot; something burning. Before he knew it, his lungs were filled with fluid.

He was drowning.

…no. There was no way he could die like this. He had to live – he had to survive; a death like this was too ridiculous!

And so, he struggled upward, breaking the surface with his head. Taking a deep breath, he looked around – and suddenly realized he was somewhere else entirely now.

The blue sky was overhead, the sun still high above them. Looking around himself, he realized he was in the park, swimming inside what looked like a giant cauldron. Eyes opening wide, he realized that he must have woken up for real this time – that everything before had been a dream.

Or, so he desperately told himself that.

However, there was a problem. A variety of problems, actually.

For one, he was naked. Again.

And the second was that, just outside the cauldron filled with boiling water, was Berserker sitting on the ground, looking at him with a finger on her lips. Her expression was the same as the dragon's: Hunger.

Even in the boiling water, a chill went down Archer's spine. She was really going to eat him, wasn't she?

"Gao~"

He assumed, correctly, that was a yes.


End file.
